Too Long

Coffee was awhile ago. It wasn't bad. We seemed to have a few things in common, including an interest in rocks. What are the odds? We've been friendly around the office, but nothing further. Some of the other people have been nice. I've gone to a few group lunches so far, but I'm not a big group talker, so it felt more awkward than good.

My mom fell off the wagon at day 7. Strangely, she's cut way back, but still goes through a half a bottle a night. She attempts to do some normal things, but I don't know how long that will last.

Been pretty solitary lately. Haven't been quite as depressed, but more a mellowed blah. At least I haven't thought about knives, bridges, or ropes lately.

A Friend?

My new job started today. Along with the change in location came a change in people. Yes, I know that one was a given, but I don't just mean the actual people. I mean the type of people. Here, they are actually friendly. A woman came up to me today and introduced herself. Said quite firmly that she doesn't believe in office romances, but doesn't see why employees shouldn't get to know each other. So we're having coffee on Friday.

Turns out my grandmother doesn't have cancer. My mom promised to stop drinking if it wasn't cancer. So far, she's 1 day sober. We'll see how long it lasts.

I'm only out $200 now. Kinda weird how the world works sometimes.

Coffee? Friday? Am I really ready for an actual friend?

Twisted?

I contacted the old dude with dentures. His move.

I'm missing $300 cash from my hiding spot.

My old job ends tomorrow, but the company found more money. I'm moving up.

A cute girl winked at me as I was walking home today.

Funny how the liquor cabinet has been completely restocked...

Happiness Never Lasts

I've decided to stop trying. Every time I find a reason to be happy, life snatches it away. Yesterday, I began talking to two very different, but very interesting people. One was in person, and the other was from this dating site I joined. I got a message from this girl saying that she thought my profile was interesting and she wanted to talk to me more. We talked for a couple hours online after that, and we really seemed to hit it off. We both admitted we were shy people, but couldn't really believe that we talked this much. Today, I tried to talk to her, and she said that we had nothing in common and that she didn't want to talk to me ever again. So I get my first flirt with a girl, and then get knocked down 3 pegs or so.

The other encounter was with a guy from work. This guy came up to me yesterday and said that he had always noticed me, but never thought to say anything as inter-office relationships were usually discouraged. Now, since I'm leaving, he thought it would be nice to get to know me. We made a "date" for Sunday night after work. Today I come into work excited that two people have taken an interest in me within one day, and I find this guy in a hardcore make out session with the blond from 2 cubicles down from me. So much for actually being into me...

I'm wondering if it's even worth it to continue looking. It sounds bitchy, I'll admit, to keep complaining that I haven't found a good relationship yet. But dammit, if everyone in this fucking world could be a little more honest about everything, life would be so much easier on all of us. I could shoot myself for ever getting my hopes up. Maybe my days are more numbered than I thought...